Topsy-turvy yet Focused

I try to keep my eyes open during my first class
But I often fail. How can I not fall asleep when it is what I lack?
The newly printed paper in my hand is the reason why my hair is messy
No shower, no sleep from last night, eyes obviously puffy

I know I shouldn’t “cram” but can you blame me
When I play multiple roles in different hours of the day?
I master multitasking, but still the time seems not be enough
Being a student, orgmate, and simply a Filipino at the same time is quite tough

Don’t judge me when my outfit is not trendy, say it’s outdated
Often I find it difficult to allot time to dig into my cluttered closet
I’d rather spend the time flipping the thick pages of weekly readings
So as not to be grilled by my professor and classmates already discussing

Sometimes, even though I give all my efforts like a superhero,
I’d get a grade of unpleasant 2.5, or even a worse 3.0
I’d stumble, disappointed with myself when I face failure
With that, I have the tendency to blame my not-so-favorite professors

But I learn to realize it’s more than just the digits,
Or the inability to excel in a paper, exam, or quiz
It’s more of how I learn and grow from my weaknesses
And turn them into strengths that will lead toward success

Sure, my mind may play truant in class discussions
But what is etched deep in my heart is a mission
As I work to balance my diverse societal roles
With a determination to press toward the end of the goal

My Lolo Ed

I have been your “spoiled” apo ever since
I was young, I knew you can’t resist
Not to give the money left in your pocket
When I’d sweetly say, “I need to buy something Lolo Ed”

You were always generous, selfless,
Setting aside your own wants and needs
Just to make sure you see your loved one
Smile, and to avoid eliciting a frown

All your life you were scattering love,
Never failing to remind us of our great God above
You fought in this temporary house called “world”
With the Bible kept on your bedside chair as your sword

I saw your courage more when Lola passed away
Your faith, strong as a rock, was never swayed
You made me realize there’s always something to thank for
Even though what’s happening around doesn't appear good anymore

Earlier today I heard the news that you were suddenly on a coma
I felt that I had to say goodbye soon so I rushed to the hospital
It didn’t feel right to see you like that unconscious, not the usual jolly “you”
So I kissed your forehead and whispered "I love you"

After I had left, I received a call that you finally gave your last breath
Wow Lolo, how can I not think I’m not your “spoiled” apo
When on your last hour, what you did was grant my wish to be beside you?
A smile now curves my lips thinking you did wait for me, didn’t you?

Now that you’re in heaven, please embrace lola for me
I’m sure your Christmas will be exceptionally full of glee
Of course I will see you in the morning
So I won’t say goodbye this evening

My Reverie

I pull the soft blanket up under my chin
Smile curving my lips as I stare at the ceiling
Darkness fills my room—it must have been midnight
The events of the previous day flash before my sight

An ordinary day made special by an extraordinary man
I still wonder: how can he make those simple things exceptional?
He wore his naturally breathtaking smile as I pulled open the car door
A routine that I never find monotonous—such moments I savor

It was a usual Sunday at the mall packed with people
His hands never leaving mine as I tried to stifle
A giggle that I knew would make me look crazy
Had I failed to suppress such emotion formed untimely

I can’t quite explain how this man makes me eccentrically happy
I just know that he does—naturally and effortlessly
Such an unpredictable man full of surprises
I am caught off guard with his own spunkiness

Even before I can utter what’s on my mind,
He knows what I’m thinking and I can never hide
Any emotion—may it be pain, discomfort, or weariness
For with him, I am as transparent as a glass

From time to time, he’d whisper in my ears those three words
That make my heart skip a beat and my blood swerve
I never get tired of repeatedly hearing them from his sweet voice
And whenever he does, he almost makes my eyes moist

This man thinks I’m more beautiful with no makeup on
Makes me feel that I’m his princess on a white unicorn
Accepts my weaknesses and still love me
Always makes surprises wherever I may be

I always find myself randomly dreaming of what lies ahead
Traveling, establishing a family. In all my dreams, he is included
What I have for this man is not love that is dependent on feelings
It is a commitment, a choice I made, and a prayer that’s been answered

I am pulled out of my reverie as my phone vibrates, “Hello?” I answer
“Why are you still awake?” his voice is sleepy
“And why are you still awake?” I respond with a grin
“I just want to say goodnight. I love you.” And with a smile, I drift off to sleep

The Other Side of the Fence

Floods, accidents, death, Diseases, pain, threat, “Why?”—a query that settles in each salty tear we shed in battles _____ Life on earth is incontestably harsh A series of interminable wars Innocent people are victimized Those who do wrong are even admired _____ And yet it all makes sense That earth is a temporary residence Our days here are but a shadow Fleeting as the grass in the meadow ____ How could we be problem-free When all of us are mere Strangers, travelers, pilgrims Who easily give in to sins ____ Despite the fact that this is not our home We have something to hold on to for hope And it is the Victory that we share with the Lord Who overcome everything, even the valley of death ____ Which means we can have victory Over our unanswerable query, Indescribable heartaches, loss And our life’s own Goliath of sorts ____ Then we may ask, “What’s next?” See, there’s the other side of the fence The end goal of our race: Eternal Home Where we can be with Him forevermore

Hands of a Maker

The hands that sketched horizon’s perfected lines,
Reveal millions of stars each day the sun hides,
Hold the planets in the boundless space of the universe
As instantaneous meteors through the atmosphere traverse

The hands that painted nature’s breathtaking shades of green,
Control the current of both intermittent and ephemeral streams,
Attached the pure white cotton candy clouds in the sky,
Command all creatures that crawl, walk, hop and fly

The hands that interweaved you and me in our mother’s wombs,
Formed the shape of our eyes—may it be narrow or as wide as a full moon,
Map the direction in which way to go, ensuring the safety of our brakes
And align our path back when we make a wrong turn towards poisonous snakes

The hands that hold the pen and paper of the story of our lives,
Gently rub our backs for comfort as we cry and sigh,
Carry our weak bodies in the midst of this life’s battles
As He guarantees our victory against the world’s scoundrels

The hands that are wrapped in fulfilled promises and healing
A pair of deified hands that I will one day (for eternity) be holding
Yes Your hands that were pierced in holes simply because of your love
Which I do not deserve at all. It’s amazing, my Maker’s hands.

Happy Birthday to My Dazzling Star!

Bestfriend

I can’t remember how or when
A specific date was not written by a pen
This is one of the eternal things in life
That needs not be planned by subconscious mind

Suddenly I knew you were my bestfriend
We were in Grade 6 then, too innocent at the age of 12
Now we are cruising along the complexities of college life
Overcoming pressures and expectations formed with strife

We may be exceedingly busy to pause for a sit
Our communication plunging into something tacit
But deep inside we are as close as twigs interlocked
As intimate as every miniature line on the wall clock

No labels. No conditions.
Our friendship has not been forcefully planned
Yet I say it has purpose and has a firm stance
Designed for more than just an occasional glance

Undeniably, there are our flaws and differences
We disagree and debate in some circumstances
But the relationship we have is more significant
Than mere justification of our self and selfish rants

I have laughed with you.
Cried with you.
Shopped with you.
Turned into madness with you.

I cannot imagine my life without your blunt talks,
Concerned heart, comical laughs and direct rebukes
You have been part of my misconstrued world
And I cannot express how grateful I am, no there aren’t words

Let me greet you a Happy Happy Birthday!
You are that brave woman under a sun’s blinding ray
Someone who will soar higher than what you think!
Go grab your pair of stilettos and walk on clouds of pink

Undeclared yet Construed

There is a confounding riddle that lies
Behind why my thoughts are lucid before your eyes,
Why my heart is securely knotted with yours,
Allowing you trace my every emotion’s course

In my small gesture of stretching my back
You know in an instant there’s pain that smacks
You offer your delicate hand for a massage
No need for words to utter; enough is my visage

In my creasing of eyebrows and pouting of lips
You know without doubt my mind is on a trip
You surmise I’m bothered, you then search for reasons
And seek ways to paint my cheeks a shade of crimson

In those leisurely steps I take into deep silenced shores
You delicately fill the gaps of my fingers with yours
Licensing me to take in the absence of words
While patiently waiting for me in between wind’s swirls

In my clasping of two hands and hunching of shoulders
You don’t bother ask anymore if I’m feeling any colder
The next thing I know is there’s a warm, fragrant jacket
Wrapped around me with the comfort of night’s singing crickets

I find it fascinating that there’s someone like you in my life
To whom I can wordlessly and tranquilly share my strife
With whom I can take delight in every turn of blissful dance
And who take heed of every detail of my often misconstrued heart

Nevertheless

When we’re plunged into the pool of misunderstandings
I may appear disappointed with my unnecessary shifting
Shown is contempt through my raised eyebrows
Gone is the attempt to hide annoyance in my frown
Nevertheless, I know I love you even more

When the perplexing nature of my being a girl attacks
You cannot grasp what it is in my crazy acts
I demand for you to figure out what runs through my head
And it makes things worse because I stop words from being said
Nevertheless, you’re that one person who handles my own silliness

We can always talk for incalculable hours
Taking delight at some random humors
You’ll occasionally hold my hand and nuzzle my cheek
Things around slowly fade, your eyes being the only ones I can peek
Nevertheless, I never find the occurrence of the same event monotonous

When I cannot control my innate clumsiness
And I become the cause for things to become a mess
I cannot deny that it can be tiring for you
And I won’t be surprised if you’ll be feeling blue
Nevertheless, you accept me for who I am and who I am not

When I become too garrulous,
Words coming out like wild water ooze
I know how it can be thunderous and ear-piercing
I’m aware that it can be as worse as a donkey braying
Nevertheless, I never hear you complain and show exhaustion of some sorts

When things seem to get out of hand
When we’re both languid and in silence I just twist a hair’s strand
We may not find answers to the many questions that life brings
The air may seem to become stale through the nightingale’s chirpings
Nevertheless, we know we have each other and that is more than enough

When people try to break us apart
And compel us to clamber on separate hearts
Accentuating all possible reasons why we can't be together
Squeezing out our love's sweet nectar beneath invincible glacier
I'll nevertheless find myself persistently fighting for you

My Evening Star

Among billions of stars crowding the universe
You solely in my eyes are the sweetest and the brightest
Reflected are the radiant depths of your oceanic eyes
Like the night of perfect horizons and silvery skies

Your flashing torch of light put me off to sleep
Securing my heart with yours as they in joy leap
There in that quiet dwelling place, I flushed as a rose
Wildly as the air in the breezy west coast

Though you may pain yourself in the seemingly endless night
In mere exposure of the abysmal space of danger and fright
You wait patiently for dawn ‘till the sun appears
Never allowing darkness bring me into melancholic tears

You are my star, my inspiration who never leaves me alone
Not yesterday, today, nor tomorrow
Whose love I’m rest assured is not to decay
Even when storms hit the much traveled highway

Love Once Again

When I’m all so weak that my knees tremble

I summon every drop of strength I can pull

No matter how hard it seems to take a breath

How laborious it becomes to impede the sweat


When I understand how long silence can be lovely

And I don’t demand for words to be exposed freely

Even though my ears crave for your velvety voice

To wait patiently with willingness is my own choice



When I choose to bear the sight of you struggling

I feel the pain doubled within me, a venom that stings

But I endure. I tolerate. I hold on as my nerves grow weaker

For what I cannot allow is be far from you so I linger



When I want to run towards you and hug you tight

I sit still on where I am, holding my legs firm with all my might

For I think of what you need, and perhaps, I assume,

You need some time alone, without much of a distraction



When I want to spend more time with you but I know I can’t

It is fine with me, really, I can handle myself

I may miss you deeply and passionately but it doesn’t really matter

As long as I can see you rising strong as a panther



When I know I can’t do anything to make you feel better

I search for things that I can try, words I can utter

But as I realize there is none, I pray hard and cry

I speak in my mind “I’ll be here for you without a single sigh”



When I realize that I can fight and hold on like this,

That I can care more for a person than I do for myself

I know without doubt what the reason behind all these is,

What keeps me going on: It is this love that burns right in our midst